Heal. And Stop Living Two (or More) Lives

Are you exhausted? Frustrated? Sad? Angry? Hate your life, your job... everything?

Because of trauma, many of us live a fractured/disconnected life. There's one part of us that had dreams of a certain life and then there's the part of the actual life we're living -- and many times that ideal/dream life is quite different than our reality.

For many years, I lived two lives. I had the public life that I "acted" my way through, changing masks/personalities to match the circumstances; meanwhile, in my inner life, I longed for true self-understanding and understanding the meaning of love (and self-love).

Healing brought those two, exhausting lives into one beautiful and renewed life of joy, love, peace, and kindness. The feeling of healing is indescribable.

That's the good news -- there is a cure for feeling like you have to live multiple lives. There is a way to bring your two+ lives back into one life... to begin living the life you truly deserve to live.

The catch? You have to HEAL. You have to truly heal, not simply mask symptoms.

The other catch? You'll have to do the work, and the work may be hard at times, and it will be a journey of ups and downs until you get closer to the healing side of the journey.

It's true. We can heal. We can heal our unprocessed emotions from past traumas, allowing us to live a life of mental and physical healing -- and health.

BUT, you have to be ready to heal -- and want to heal. If you are still playing the victim and blaming others for all the troubles in your life, you're not ready.

Perhaps you don't think you have any trauma lurking in your past, but if you do not feel as though you are living your true and authentic life, then something is holding you back -- and it is your responsibility to figure out the issues. (Often, especially with childhood trauma, we repress the memories.)

Healing should be a completely selfish act -- because we ALL deserve healing. We can't truly love ourselves or others until we heal.

But the other amazing thing about healing is that when we heal, we in turn want to help the world heal. Thus, healing is not a selfish act at all, but an act of helping the entire world heal.

Are you ready to begin YOUR healing journey?

Healing Journeys

A healing journey is a plan you make to find healing for yourself. There's no secret formula, no magic pill, to healing. A healing journey is WORK -- and a long-term (lifetime) undertaking.

The first step -- and hardest part -- of any healing journey, believe it or not, is the realization and acceptance that you NEED a healing journey. While none of us can accurately understand our reality (for a variety of reasons, including perception, biases, memory, etc.), we HAVE to get to a point in which we begin to understand that our situation will only improve with action.

In other words, before you can even begin a healing journey, you have to be able to stop playing the victim, stop blaming others, and start seeing your life as something under your own power. Yes, you may be hurt, damaged, depressed, anxious, living in fear -- but recognizing this issue is really the first step on a healing journey.

For example, I have someone very close to me who is struggling with depression, alcohol-use disorder, and a few drug overdoses. She has lost her job, apartment, and car. Worse, she had to give up custody of her only child to her estranged ex. She is floundering and angry, but she is also in total denial. Her response to her situation is seeking money from friends and family to help her "get back on her feet." She simply can't see or acknowledge her reality. She is not ready for a healing journey even though she desperately needs one.

Once on your healing journey, it's important to expect some bumps and diversions along the way... very common to have some setbacks and frustrations -- along with deep insights, self-love, and healing.

After making the commitment to find healing, the next step in the journey is finding the healing modalities that may work best for you. Please note that symptom-control with prescription medicines is NOT healing, but simply masking the trauma. If you're on any medications, you will want to check with your doctor (or find a doctor) to help taper off the meds you'll no longer need after healing.

While talk therapy is a great tool for healing, you have to know why you need the therapy -- and some trauma is so deep that it takes more than coaxing to get it to the surface.

Here's my list of healing modalities:

  1. Psychedelics

  2. Spirituality (Prayer, Meditation/Mindfulness)

  3. Somatic/Body

  4. Nature

  5. Breathwork

  6. Nutrition

You can learn more in this short article, Wholeistic Healing Tools: Discover the Methods for True, Wholeistic, Healing, as well as in much more detail in my powerful book, HEAL! Wholeistic Practices to Help Clear Your Trauma, Heal Yourself, and Live Your Best Life.

Once you have identified the healing modalities you want to explore, the next step is finding the right coaches and healers -- people true to the mission of healing that resonate with you. You can find these people through your community or by searching online (and even LinkedIn). Do your due diligence and only use coaches/healers for which you feel completely comfortable. There are plenty of so-called healers that really should be labeled harmers.

The next step is then implementing your healing modalities. Start with one, and if it works completely, then you're done. For most of us, it usually takes multiple healing experiences to truly clear all the trauma. Again, remember, it's not a race but a journey; use as many healing modalities as you want -- as long as you are doing the healing work.

Remember too that once you begin healing, many of these healing modalities will also be extremely useful for maintaining your healing journey. For example, nutrition might not be your primary healing modality, but once you heal, eating properly will be an essential part of maintaining that healing.

The final step of your healing -- and one that extends your healing journey for the rest of your life -- is integrating your healing. Integration can be liberating -- but also challenging. Integration is about understanding what healing means to you, how you can truly heal yourself, and, eventually, how you can help others heal. When people say that they are "doing the work," it means they are integrating their healing insights and experiences, working to improve themselves.

Once you have moved through most of your healing, you may find the things, people, career, and habits of your past no longer serve you. Thus, as you heal, ALL aspects of your life are evaluated and you clear/eliminate the things and people that are no longer serving or supporting you.

Many people on a healing journey change not only jobs, but careers. Many move or change lifestyles. Many lose friends and family who are still trapped in their trauma -- and who are unwilling to find their own healing. Be prepared.

Final Thoughts on True Healing

A final suggestion: As you begin to heal, start building your supportive community; some of these people may be your current friends and family, but many people on a healing journey find the need to add additional friends who can offer key support during the harder parts of the journey.

All I care about is helping everyone find healing. So many of us are living with chronic diseases, inaccurate diagnoses, and a fractured wholeness -- and yet healing is within our power, our grasp... we just have to want to heal -- and make the decision to find healing.

In case you were wondering: My healing modalities started in nutrition and somatics, but my real healing modality was nature, which led me to spirituality, and eventually to psychedelics. My healing journey also led me to the love of my life -- and finally a sense that I deserved love.

Dr. Randall Hansen is an advocate, educator, mentor, ethicist, and thought-leader... helping the world heal from past trauma. He is founder and CEO of EmpoweringSites.com, a network of empowering and transformative Websites, including EmpoweringAdvice.com.

He is the author of the groundbreaking Triumph Over Trauma: Psychedelic Medicines are Helping People Heal Their Trauma, Change Their Lives, and Grow Their Spirituality and the well-received HEAL! Wholeistic Practices to Help Clear Your Trauma, Heal Yourself, and Live Your Best Life.

Dr. Hansen's focus and advocacy center around true healing ... healing that results in being able to live an authentic life filled with peace, joy, love. Learn more by visiting his personal Website, RandallSHansen.com. You can also check out Dr. Randall Hansen on LinkedIn.