How to Have a Healthy and Happy Marriage

Here are five tips for any couple -- from those considering marriage to those in the newlywed phase, to those married for many years or decades -- for having a happy and healthy marriage, full of love, friendship, support, and happiness.

1. Communicate and Show Love Well. People speak differently, hear differently, and love differently. A healthy marriage is one in which both partners practice good communications -- by learning the best methods of talking and listening to one another.

Furthermore, people show their love differently -- and want their loved expressed differently. Some people crave touch as a sign of love, while others prefer gifts or quality time. In a happy marriage, each partner understands the Love Languages of each other. Learn more about The 5 Love Languages -- and even take the free assessment -- here

2. Be Affectionate -- and Keep the Sex Life Active/Engaging. A successful and healthy marriage is all about connections -- and the physical connection is just as important as the verbal/communications connection. Do you hold each other's hands? Hug each other? Gently stroke each other's head and hair? How often do you kiss each other? Smile and make eye contact with each other? Laugh with each other?

And yes, the sex is very important too -- safe, passionate, mutually agreed upon sexual acts are the ultimate form of affection and connection... ones that lead to deep feelings of happiness and affectation.

3. Show and Practice Acts of Appreciation. Daily lives and stresses can get in the way of realizing and appreciating little acts of kindness one partner does for the other -- from making breakfast, washing the car, cleaning up a mess, fixing a leaky faucet, adjusting commitments to be together... and so forth... so always make the effort to appreciate each other.

A happy marriage is one in which both partners express AND show their appreciation for the other... in words and deeds. These do not need to be grand gestures, but simply an acknowledgement of what your partner did/does for you to make your life easier, better.

4. Live with Honesty and Respect. Without honesty and respect, there is no integrity in a marriage, and really no hope for joy a nd happiness. A marriage without honesty and respect is a dying or dead marriage. A healthy marriage is one in which both partners trust each other enough to share everything honesty and openly.

Remember that honesty does not equal harshness. You can be honest about an issue that bothers you in the marriage without being a jerk. Honesty is more about laying yourself open so that your partner can see and respect every single aspect of who you are -- from the good to the not so good. Respect means living an authentic life for yourself and your partner -- and valuing your marriage and your partner enough to live your life in a loving and positive manner.

5. Share Adventures Together. Too much of life is actually spent away from your partner -- unless you are lucky enough to work together -- and what better way to celebrate your love and enjoy each other's company than to plan and have adventures together. In reality, planning is a big part of the fun, but the actual adventure is great too.

And before you say you do not have the time or money for adventures, remember that adventures can as simple as a walk or bike ride together; watching the sunset from the beach or the mountains; sharing a picnic in the woods or local park; attending an arts performance; playing miniature golf or going bowling. Of course, the bigger adventures -- the ones that take the time, money, and effort to plan and do -- should also be squeezed into the family budget, as quality time away together refreshes, renews, and reinvigorates the love you share.

Dr. Randall Hansen is an advocate, educator, mentor, ethicist, and thought-leader... helping the world heal from past trauma. He is founder and CEO of, a network of empowering and transformative Websites, including

He is the author of the groundbreaking Triumph Over Trauma: Psychedelic Medicines are Helping People Heal Their Trauma, Change Their Lives, and Grow Their Spirituality and the well-received HEAL! Wholeistic Practices to Help Clear Your Trauma, Heal Yourself, and Live Your Best Life.

Dr. Hansen's focus and advocacy center around true healing ... healing that results in being able to live an authentic life filled with peace, joy, love. Learn more by visiting his personal Website, You can also check out Dr. Randall Hansen on LinkedIn.